Unbendable steel, unbreakable walls

Unsinkable ships sink. Unbreakable walls break. Sometimes the things you think would never happen, happen just like that. Unbendable steel bends, if the fury of the wind is unstoppable. I have learned to never underestimate the impossible.

I got a call last night that Dad’s echocardiogram did not come out well. Half of his heart is enlarged and he is going to have to monitor his blood pressure and report to the hospital if it goes up. My unbreakable wall has a crack. I thought I was okay with the news. I mean its dad. He is my unsinkable ship, my unbendable steel. Then this morning something as simple as a recipe from my weight loss group made that crack seem like the Grand Canyon. It was a recipe for Baked Egg Cups. When we were young every father’s Day we would make Dad eggs in bologna cups. I don’t know if Dad really liked them or if he just ate them every year because his little girls made them, but either way, that was our tradition. So this morning, the day of Dad’s 61st birthday, that recipe drops into my email. Just reading it brought all these memories of Fathers Day with my dad and it just hit me. I am not okay with my Dad having a major health issue, I am not okay with my Dad having to watch his blood pressure and possibly report to the hospital everytime it goes up.

See my Dad is more than a “dad”. He is the strongest, most caring, loving man in the world. He will be there for you no matter what, he will do whatever it takes to get the job done. No job is too big and Dad never says no. He is the cornerstone, the main support beam, the foundation of our entire family. He may be 61 today, but he doesn’t let age slow him down. He works harder than most young people and he is honest in what he does. If Dad says it, you can guarantee it. Dad doesn’t white lie, dad doesn’t stretch the truth, he is going to tell you like it is, even if that isn’t necessarily what is best for the situation. I have never in my life met a man more morally strong. I have never met a man who pushed through the pain, who mustered strength from deep inside to provide for his family as much as Dad does. He would die for us, he would fight for us, and he would give up everything for us.

Growing up Dad made things seem easy. Life was hard, we were broke, Mom and Dad were fighting creditors, life wasn’t easy for them. We didn’t know that. I don’t care how broke we were, how much trouble life was giving them, they always made sure the kids didn’t know. Dad never complained in front of us about not having a job. He simply went out and found one, no matter how small. When he was on unemployment, we didn’t know, because his attitude was the same around us no matter if he was making lots of money or making none. I have no memories of ever being afraid of Dad. We never had to worry about the phrase wait til your Dad gets home. He didn’t run our house with an iron fist. We were part of his family, we were welcome in the living room, we were welcome to play. So many parents back then lived by the children should neither be seen nor heard and with Dad it is neither one. He wanted to spend time with us, he wants to spend time with us still today. His grandkids are his life.

The wind has been unstoppable and my steel beam holding our family under its protection is bending. All these years the pressure has been on and Dad just keeps pushing through and he smiles on the outside and he cuts the grass, and he fixes the car, and he fixes the house, and he works a full time demanding job and we see the perfect man, the perfect Dad. Inside the cracks begin to form, the steel softens, the wind blows harder and something has to give. While it pains me to admit it, Dad is human. My superman is Clark Kent, but instead of kryptonite his weakness is his family. That’s not easy for me to admit, and honestly I won’t accept it. Dad might have an enlarged heart but he isn’t a sinking ship. I know one of these days I will have to face the facts and accept that even the impossible becomes possible in the right situations, but not today. Not on the day of my Hero’s birthday. See MY daddy may be human, but he is superhuman, the most absolutely super human being on this planet. Until the day we have to say good bye he will always be MY unsinkable ship, my unbreakable wall, my unbendable steel. My Dad. A little enlarged heart is not going to blow him over, what do the docs expect? When there is that much love inside one persons heart of course it is gonna grow